


Solace in Oblivion

by thebaddestwolf



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e08 The Impossible Planet, Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, F/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:32:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebaddestwolf/pseuds/thebaddestwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor remembers a night with Rose on the Krop Tor sanctuary base. (Angst, but with cuddling.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Solace in Oblivion

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to tkross for the beta!

The start is as good a place as any to say goodbye.

***

The Doctor blinked as he watched the seven planets of the Vaale System hurtle past the observation window, the black hole turning their glittering blue rings to dust before his eyes.

He blinked again and felt Rose’s fingers twine with his, warm and comforting. Squeezing her hand, he couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corner of his lips; even at the mouth of oblivion she made everything less bleak.

“Are there people on those planets? I mean, are they still…”

She leaned her head on his shoulder and, though his eyes were still trained on the sky, he could see her face clear as day -- the worried furrow creasing her brow, the glossy sadness in her eyes.

“No. Well.” He drew out the last word, wishing protecting her and telling the truth weren’t mutually exclusive. “Those planets -- their atmosphere would have broken up a while back. There wouldn’t be any lifeforms left, now.”

“Oh.”

“Of course, depending on how advanced the civilizations were, they could have seen this coming and arranged to relocate the population to a safer place,” he rushed on, wanting to soothe the hurt in her voice. “You hear stories about that, now and again, people fleeing from black holes. It’s not impossible.”

He felt a soft pressure on his shoulder and wondered if it was her lips. Blinking again, he finally tore his gaze from the dark expanse and turned toward her, pulling her in close. Rose wrapped her arms around his waist and exhaled slowly, head heavy against his chest.

“We’ll find a way home,” she said. “We’ll get the TARDIS back, I know it.”

The Doctor rested his cheek atop her hair and rubbed slow circles on her back, smiling as he found no mutual exclusion in her sentiments at all.

***

He often considers the conversation that followed, after she’s gone. What they’d said when they sat on cold, plastic seats on either side of a scuffed, laminate table and discussed mortgages and static permanence.

He’d slipped up, for an instant -- let himself imagine that shared life, grinning at her as warmth bloomed in his chest and she toyed with her hoop earring. Then he saw faint hope flare in her eyes and he spooked, glancing away and tugging on his ear in panic.

Hopeless as their circumstances seemed, that kind of life wasn’t something he could offer her. No matter how much he might have wanted it.

But now that he’s alone the idea fills his daydreams, helps him pass the time.

He imagines Rose making toast in a sun-drenched kitchen, shuffling about in her ratty old slippers and humming to herself, pausing now and then to peek at the robins that have nested just outside the window.

In these scenarios he’s always reading the paper -- or pretending to -- as he watches her and sips tepid milky tea. He yawns to get her attention.

“Did you sleep alright?” she’ll ask, running a hand through his hair. He fiddles with the tie on her dressing gown.

“Suppose,” he’ll shrug. “Would sleep better if you didn’t hog all the covers.”

The Doctor smiles, pushing buttons and pulling levers on the console as the familiar scene plays through his mind. After a few moments of indulgence he shakes himself out if it.

He has somewhere to go.

***

There were two twin beds in their assigned room on the sanctuary base -- bunks stacked against one wall, like children’s beds he’d seen in films.

The Doctor shed his jacket and tie, kicked off his chucks, and climbed onto the top mattress. Dangling his legs over the side he bounced in his seat, testing the comfort and making the springs squeak.

“How’d you know I didn’t want the top?”

Rose was smiling at him over her shoulder, palms resting on either side of the room’s porthole window. The glass was smudged from where she’d pressed her nose against it.

“Figured it’d be easier if you didn’t have to climb down when you need the loo in the middle of the night,” he said, nodding toward the toilet door. “You always need the loo.”

“You’re always reminding me to stay hydrated.”

Her tongue slid between her teeth and the Doctor grinned.

Turning her attention back to the window, Rose unzipped her jacket and shrugged it off, tossing it on the bottom bunk without looking. It was dark in the room, the rusty lamp in the corner offering only weak, yellowish light, and the Doctor could see ripples of outside explosions dance across her cheeks like starry freckles.

Worlds were being torn apart and Rose Tyler was beautiful.

“How do black holes form?” she asked after a while, stepping out of her trainers.

“It’s the end of a sun’s life-cycle,” he said, wishing she’d turn away from it. “It burns up all the gas it’s got and that creates a vacuum of sorts. Sucks everything in.”

“How long does it take? For a sun to die, I mean.”

“Oh, billions of years.” He frowns. “Though, this one isn’t that old. Not by a long shot...”

She laughed.

“What?”

“It’s a bit like our first date, isn’t it? Suns dying, planets breaking up. You always take me to the best places, Doctor.”

“Guess you’re right,” he chuckled. “I’ll buy the chips, this time.”

“You better.”

She turned toward him and flashed a toothy smile his way, hands working at the fly of her jeans. The Doctor grinned and shook his head, lying back on the mattress and staring at the metal ceiling.

A moment later the bunk’s ladder creaked.

“Oi, budge up.”

He turned onto his side and moved closer to the wall, feigning offense when she yanked the duvet out from under him and cuddled beneath it with a cheeky smile.

“Rose Tyler!” He scowled at her -- or tried his best to scowl -- and tugged on a corner of the blanket. “Don’t hog all the covers!”

***

The TARDIS hums and shakes as it begins the journey back, way back, and the familiarity of it puts the Doctor’s nerves at ease. Then he remembers the look on her face when her hands slipped, and the lump rises in his throat again.

He considered crossing timelines to save her -- nearly went through with it -- but ultimately couldn’t justify the risk. She was alive and well and with her family, after all.

It wouldn’t be her he was saving.

His thoughts are forgotten as the ship vibrates and rattles, more violently than usual, as it finally comes to a stop. The Doctor strokes a coral strut soothingly, promising they won’t stay too long.

Pressing a button, he launches a program sequence he’d written earlier. The TARDIS thrums and groans, but the readings on the screen show it’s working.

Days ago, when he’d finally figured it out, _finally_ realized how to do it and where he needed to go, he almost laughed. He can’t decide if the universe has a sense of irony or a cruel streak, but either way he’s thankful.

While he waits for his last chance, the Doctor paces.

***

“So, where do you want to go next?”

Rose rolled onto her side to face him, propping herself up on one elbow and resting her head on her hand.

“Sorry?”

“How about one of those spa planets you keep mentioning when I’m cross, but never manage to take me to? Hm? Could do with one of them, after this.”

His eyes roamed her face and he found worry and exhaustion hidden in her smile. He raised his hand to cup her cheek, but let it drop.

“Rose…”

She cut him off with a stern look.

“Now don’t you go apologize again about trapping us here -- I’ll lose it if you keep talking like that.” She lifted her free hand from under the duvet and reached over to squeeze his. “Besides, we always figure it out, don’t we? This time won’t be any different.”

He wasn’t so sure, but just hearing her say it made his muscles relax.

“Can’t argue with that logic, can I?”

The Doctor smiled and rested his cheek on the pillow, lifting her hand and brushing his lips across her knuckles. Rose let her head fall to the pillow, too, and inched closer, nudging her knee between his. Their hands remained clasped, settling on the pillow between them.

They’d shared a bed before but, somehow, this felt different. Perhaps it was the empty mattress below them, or the black hole looming above; perhaps it was the solace he found in her touch, her lips, her eyes.

“I have an idea,” she said after a while, her voice barely above a whisper. “Close your eyes.”

They fell shut before she even finished the sentence.

“Now envision somewhere you want to be, anywhere at all.” He felt her snuggle closer, her ankle sliding between his, her breasts pressing against his chest, her breath warming a patch on his neck. “Can you see it?”

“Yes.” Without intending to, he whispered too. He released her hand and curled his arm around her back, holding her to him.

“Tell me where you are.”

“We’re on the TARDIS.”

“Some imagination, Time Lord.” She giggled. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere.”

Rose huffed, sending a shiver trembling along his skin.

“We’re in the galley,” he clarified. “You’re making toast.”

He felt her stifle a laugh as she ran her hand over his chest and down his side, coming to rest on his hip. She threaded a finger through a belt-loop on his trousers.

“Are you hungry, Doctor?”

“A bit.”

“Do you want to go find food?”

“No.”

He felt soft pressure on his collarbone and knew it was her lips.

“Rose,” he breathed, a last-ditch attempt at salvation; a cry for help as one-by-one his fingers slipped from the edge of the cliff. He scrambled, frantically tried to remember the myriad of reasons why they shouldn’t, why they hadn’t, but his mind was blissfully blank.

“Yeah?”

She rocked her hips forward and he gulped, hand fisting the fabric of her shirt.

“I lied.”

“Huh?”

“The place, the one I’m envisioning, it’s not the kitchen.”

“Alright.” He could hear the amusement laced in her whisper. “What room?”

“It’s not on the TARDIS.”

“Where then?”

“I--” he started, one last finger clinging to the cliff and slowly, slowly, slipping.

Rose pressed her lips to his neck again, this time they were warm and _wet_ , and the Doctor let his dangling grip go.

“I couldn’t do it,” he blurted; falling, falling, falling. “Couldn’t envision anything.”

“Why not?”

With a shuddering breath he leaned back to see her face. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks flushed and her lips parted, tongue sliding out to wet them.

Worlds were being torn apart and Rose Tyler was beautiful.

She opened her eyes and he landed, a tremor running through him.

“Don’t want to be anywhere else.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed.

“What?”

“God, we’re so daft!”

“Why?”

She brought her hand out from under the duvet and traced a gentle finger along his features, from his temple down to his jaw.

“I don’t want to be anywhere else, either.”

They were both smiling when their lips met, when they wrapped their arms around each other like it might just save them. Their laughter faded when Rose sucked his bottom lip into her mouth, releasing it only to chase after with her tongue.

The Doctor rolled her onto her back and slipped his hand under her shirt, murmuring words he couldn’t quite say against her skin.

Outside the window galaxies were being smashed to bits and neither of them noticed.

***

The Doctor is nearly tearing out his hair when he notices the green button flashing on the console, signalling that the program is complete.

He looks at the outside monitor to collect himself, distant stars twinkling peacefully. On the left, he can just make out the seven blue rings of the Vaale System.

Taking a deep breath he moves into position and, with a shaky hand, raises his sonic to engage the button.

Rose is here.

Just like that, she appears in front of him, in a black leather jacket, the wind whipping at her hair. He sees faint hope flair in her eyes, but it quickly fades.

“Where are you?”

“Inside the TARDIS.” He swallows, blinking back tears. “There's one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close, and it takes a lot of power to send this projection.”

He pauses, remembering warm sheets and soft skin and beginnings bundled up in endings.

“I'm in orbit around a super nova. I'm burning up a sun just to say goodbye.”

***

There was no sunrise, because there was no sun, but there was Rose Tyler waking up in his arms and that was certainly something.

“Morning Doctor,” she said, nuzzling his jaw. “Ready to find our way home?”

He pressed three soft kisses to her lips, running his hand down her bare ribs.

“Already have.”


End file.
